For the longest time in my life, whenever someone met me; be it online or offline, they thought that I am a naturally a detached person, which was usually followed by asking for advice on how to become one themselves.
This is what led me to take a closer look at the word “Detachment.”
After going through multiple studies on the same, I strongly felt that this word is underrated, misunderstood, and misinterpreted massively.
But guess what? 🤔
Detachment isn't about being emotionless, it's about being in control of your emotions, not the other way around. It is about holding your nerves even when your life overturns completely.
So, first things first, let's understand what Detachment is.
Detachment doesn't mean you stop feeling. It means you don't let emotions rule your life.
Being numb is not the answer to anything, but having control over your emotions and feelings is.
But how do you do that? How do you go from having unhealthy attachments to feeling detached?
After trying and experimenting myself, here are 5 ways you can master detachment in your life:
➡️ Everything Changes: This might sound cliche, but it's true. Change is the only constant. Remember that spinning top you loved as a kid? It doesn't spin forever. It’s the same with life. Everything changes, so clinging to something temporary is a recipe for stress and anxiety. So, what to do? Embrace the flow and let go of the need to control everything.
➡️ See the Bigger Picture: Feeling stressed about that upcoming test? Take a deep breath, then imagine yourself 5 years from now. Will this test matter then? Probably not. This bird's-eye view will help zoom out from your current scenario and let you see things in more clearer perspective ultimately opening room to detach from unnecessary drama.
➡️ Focus on Solution: Feeling stuck? Stop whining about it and shift your focus towards finding the solution. Ask yourself: what CAN you control in this situation? Once you get that point, focus on your actions surrounding it, not things you can't change. This empowers you and gets you out of that victim mentality.
➡️ Live in the Now: Stop overthinking that awkward moment you had last week. Stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. These too will never let you feel fulfilled and will keep on stealing the joy that you might get by living in the present. Try to embrace the present moment. Try new hobbies, be mindful of your senses, and feel the energy of being truly present. You'll be amazed at how much calmer you feel.
And for days, when your thoughts take you back and forth, remember this:
“Yesterday is a history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But, today is a gift and that is why we call it a present.”
➡️ Accept it all: Life throws curveballs all the time, and sometimes they bring uncomfortable emotions along with it. But, accepting them is part of being human. Don't drown them in unhealthy coping mechanisms. Find healthy ways to deal with them, like talking to a friend or journaling. Remember, even storms eventually pass. Don’t hold back on them. Face it and let it pass by.
As I wrap up this edition, here are some thoughts that I strongly believe in: Detachment isn't magic, it's a skill you can learn.
Practice these steps, be patient with yourself, and soon you'll find yourself becoming less affected by life's challenges.
Need more clarity on the topic? I have broken this topic further in a very detailed YouTube video which you can check out.
Need further clarity? Ask away your question by commenting below.
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