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Do You Feel Safe In Your Own Head?

Writer's picture: Adete DahiyaAdete Dahiya

Updated: Jan 27

✔️ Do you often feel isolated even in a room full of people?

✔️ Do you hear that inner voice saying,” They would never understand. or I am never enough.

✔️ Do you feel like your brain is a super messy room? Like there's clutter and noise everywhere and you can't find what you're looking for?


Well, all of this kind of happens when our minds get too crowded.🤔

 

Confused? Let me explain.

 

Imagine your brain is in a big, comfortable room. You want it to be a place where you feel safe and happy, right?

 

But sometimes, it starts to feel more like a junk room where you are just dumping things.

 

Things such as worries, sad feelings, and even happy moments.

 

This all can pile up and make it hard for you to think clearly.

 

But…

 

Why does this happen?

 

Let’s go back to your childhood. Your parents got you too many toys to play with. Can you play with all of them together?

 

Similarly, our brains are kind of like that too.

Too much stuff going on can make us feel stressed, tired, and leave us even irritated at times.

 

So, how can we turn our brain room into a peaceful place?

Here are some ideas that you can try:

 

➡️ Clean up your thoughts: Just like cleaning your room, you also need to clean up your mind. When you notice a negative thought making its way in, gently push it away.

 

But, how to push a thought out of the head?

Read this paragraph, and then close your eyes.

 

Imagine your room. See how cluttered it is with unnecessary items (negative thoughts). Now, simply start picking the unnecessary items, and throwing them out in the dustbin. Keep doing it until your room cleans up. Once, your room is cleaned up, open your eyes. You will definetely feel better.


Keep doing this exercise in a regular intervals because our brains are like Velcro for negative thoughts. and needs regular maintenance. 


In fact, if we look at the studies, it says that our brains naturally focus on negative information more than positive (with context to negativity bias).

This means that our negative thoughts can stick around longer than happy ones. That’s why when you catch a bad thought, don't dwell on it.

Acknowledge it, and then gently push it away.

 

➡️ Breathe deep: Did you know that deep breathing can actually change your brain? A study by Harvard University found that just a few minutes of deep breathing can reduce stress and activate the part of the brain that controls relaxation.

When you take slow, deep breaths, you send a message to your body to calm down. It's like hitting a pause button on your stress.

 

➡️ Find your happy place: For this point too I want you to close your eyes and imagine a place you love, such as a beach or a forest. Visualize how happy you are there. This is your safety net and this can help you feel relaxed when your mind is at chaos.

Visualization has time and again proven that it is a powerful tool that can help us manage our emotions better. As per a study by the UCSC CAPS, people who imagined themselves in a peaceful place before a stressful task reported feeling calmer and performed better.

 

So next time you're feeling overwhelmed, close your eyes and take a mental vacation to your happy place.

 

➡️ Talk it out: Sharing your feelings with a friend, or family member. If none are available, reach out to an online counselor. They too can help lighten the load in your brain.

 Bottling up your emotions can be like keeping a bunch of dirty socks in your room – it starts to stink after a point.


Talking about how you feel can help you process your emotions and feel better. The people who talked about their stressful experiences with a supportive friend have reported a lower levels of stress hormones and mental declutter in a recent study. So don't be afraid to reach out for help when you need it. Reply to this email if you wish to talk to me.

 

➡️ Be kind to yourself: Sometimes, our own thoughts can be our worst enemy. We can be really hard on ourselves when we mess up.

But research shows that self-compassion is actually good for us. Various research confirms that people who practiced self-compassion reported lower levels of anxiety and depression So next time you make a mistake, talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Be understanding and forgiving.

 

➡️ Create a story inventory: So, this is a concept I learnt last week from Venessa Lau’s YouTube video. In that video, she emphasizes on creating a story inventory about your life. Here you can share an experience, a story, a belief, or a journey that has either taught you something or has given you leverage to grow more. You can create it anywhere - Be it on Google Docs or Notion or even Trello.


When you start documenting your life, it not only helps you declutter your mind from all the excess thoughts but also gives you a place to look at during those low days when you feel low on yourself.

 

Before I conclude this edition, here is something I want you to understand.

Building a safe space in your mind takes time. It's like growing a garden. It needs constant nurturing, watering, cutting off the excess debris, and removing the pests attached.

 Only then can you see the fruit of your effort and sometimes it takes years for that fruit to grow and ripen up.

 

Therefore, you have to be patient and take care of it every day without looking for a quick fix.

 

So, which one of these will be your first step? Comment and let me know.

 

 

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