If You Don't Ask, The Answer Is No

Have you ever wanted something really bad, but you didn’t get it

because you simply didn't ask for it?

Maybe it was because you were scared to be turned down

Or thought it was too much to ask

Or thought it would be rude to ask

However, guess what?

You’re not alone. A lot of people are afraid to ask for what they want.

In fact, 3/5 individuals go through this thought every single day.

But why is it so hard to ask?

Let's find out…

The hesitancy to ask can primarily occur due to any of these factors:

❌ Fear of rejection: You might have had some past scenarios where you asked for something and got rejection in return. This rejection has instilled a fear of “what if I get rejected again?” in you. Now, this might be far from the truth but that fear is not letting you take your chance.

❌ Low self-esteem: Some people believe they don't deserve good things. This also can come from past traumatic experiences or negative self-talk.

❌ Fear of looking greedy: You might be functioning with the thought process that asking for something might make you look selfish or demanding.

❌ Social conditioning: We're often taught to be polite and agreeable, which can make it difficult to assert our needs. This also leads to people-pleasing behavior and a reluctance to ask for what we want.

❌ Fear of uncertainty: Asking for something can sometimes make you feel scared because you don't know how the other person will react. This uncertainty can be paralyzing, leading to avoiding the action for as much time as possible.

However, contrary of what you may think, a study also found that people who ask for what they want are more likely to get it.

It's like magic. When you ask for something, you're putting it out there.

To put it in simpler terms

The world is a big place, and sometimes, you just need to say what you want, out loud.

Now, what do I mean here?

Let me explain with an example.

Let's say you want a new bike. Instead of just wishing for one, you could ask your parents.

You could say, "I really want a new bike. I've been saving up my allowance, and I can help pay for it."

See, that's asking!

You're showing that you're serious and willing to put in effort.

However,

For those hesitant people, do note, asking for what you want doesn't make you selfish.

It rather shows that you value yourself and your goals.

It's like planting a seed. When you ask, you're planting the seed of your desire. With a little care and patience, that seed can grow into something amazing.

And it's totally okay to ask for things. You deserve good things. So next time you want something, take a deep breath and just ask. You might be surprised at what happens.

But, how can you start asking for what you really want?

Here are 6 ways that I use:

➡️ Be clear about what you want: Get clear on what you want to ask for. Be specific and avoid vague language. For example, instead of saying "I want a promotion," say "I want a promotion to team leader designation with a salary increase of 10%."

➡️ Believe in yourself: You need to believe that you deserve good things before you project it to someone else. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and strengths. The best way I like to do this is by visualizing myself achieving my goals.

➡️ Practice asking for small things: Start with easy asks to build confidence. Ask for a favor, a recommendation, or a different seat on the bus. Build it up one step at a time.

➡️ Don’t be afraid of no: You won't get to hear a yes to everything. Sometimes there will be a couple of No's too. Normalize those. It's ok and is a part of life. Sometimes a no might feel harsh but it might be a blessing in disguise in the long run. Who knows?

➡️ Learn from rejection: Don't let rejection define you. Analyze the situation and see if there are lessons to be learned. Use it as an opportunity to improve your approach.

➡️ Celebrate your wins: Lastly, every time you ask for something and get it, give yourself a high-five on the mirror. Reward yourself for taking up the courage and assertiveness to ask for it.

So, are you ready to start asking for what you really want?

Remember, it might feel scary at first, but it's going to be worth it.

You might also be surprised at how often you get a "yes" as you ask.

What do you think? Have you ever asked for something and got it?

Comment below and share your story.